Blah, Blah, Blah!

As I went to sleep last night I could tell that this was going to be a difficult week. I was exhausted and quite anxious, a sure sign that I had a case of the Blahs!

The month of January has been long and it's not even over yet! Nothing major has been wrong but when you live with a chronic illness that is exasperated by stress, it doesn't take much to cause your body to breakdown!

In the few weeks just prior to the Blahs setting in, I was feeling increased energy and a lack of physical pain.  I was able to start accomplishing tasks around the house and taking care of some very sick little boys. I began to feel optimistic and even hopeful about getting control over household tasks and chores (yes I am one of the crazy persons that actually enjoys cleaning) that I have been unable to do for so long! Just like so many other times, I got a bit ahead of myself and ended up getting sick! What started as a cold turned to a sinus infection which turned into a flare up of my ulcerative colitis! That's when my attitude shifted and in flooded anxiety, depression and the Blahs! 

I woke up this morning determined to show up for my date with God no matter how annoyed and cranky I felt! I am so thankful there are no pretenses when it comes to my relationship with God. I felt so secure in telling Him exactly how I was feeling and what I was dealing with. I was reminded of these two scriptures:

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT)

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. (Philippians 4:6 NLT)

God is so faithful to meet us where we are!!! Later in the day I got a phone call from a friend who can totally relate to what I am going through and we were able to lean on each other in the midst of our pain. Soon after getting off the phone with her my husband showed up with a platter of sushi!

I am trusting in the Lord's promises and thanking Him for everything He has done and is doing.  The Blahs are beginning to fade!!!

Child-like Faith

At 4:30 am I was finally and completely asleep when I heard my oldest son yelling "MOM"! I could hear the pain in his voice and quickly got out of bed to take care of him. He complained of his head and body hurting so I put my hand on his forehead to check his temperature.  I was shocked and surprised by the level of heat that I felt so I took his temperature and discovered it was 103.9! 

Ugh....the nasty flu!!!

After giving him medicine, a cool washcloth and a bottle of water I went back to bed but soon after getting settled in I was summoned to his room once more. This time he just wanted me to read him a book for a while. (BTW - reading books at 5:00 in the morning isn’t my first choice of activity) 

I was a bit surprised by his choice; he picked out "The Cross and The Switchblade" by David Wilkerson. After finishing the first chapter I tucked him back into bed and made my way back to my bedroom to attempt to sleep one more time. Shortly after I got comfortable my son was in my bedroom excitedly sharing with me that he just prayed for himself and immediately his head stopped hurting. His fever was down to 99 degrees and he was pain free!

I am so thankful and blessed to have been able to share this moment with my son.  It was a great moment for me to be able to see him exercise his own faith and trust God in a time of need.  As a mom my immediate reaction is to want to take all of his suffering away and protect him from all harm, but I realize that I can’t.  What reassures me however is that at the end of the day I know that he is wholeheartedly abandoned to God who can do a much better job protecting and caring for my son than I can.

“Thank you Jesus for your healing power and for just a glimpse of your glory. My heart rejoices in the display of faith and love my son has in you.”

Time to Purge!

Everyone's Catch All Bag!!!

I am ashamed to say this was my purse!!! After several times of not being able to find what I was looking for I finally decided to PURGE my purse. My technique: Just DUMP it all out!

Miscellaneous Madness

I had no idea what I was going to find...

LOTS OF TRASH!!!

I used my husbands philosophy - "Everything must have a place and a purpose"

It feels so good to know I have everything I need and exactly where it is! The best part of this task was finding a checkbook needed to deposit a check I received back in October!!!

Real Resolutions!

I have never been a fan of new year resolutions. Admittedly, I am not a planner nor am I great goal setter. In fact, as I write this my husband is writing his life plan. As he is describing it to me I literally get a headache and can't imagine myself ever being able to think that far ahead. In addition to the overwhelming task of setting resolutions, I'm also a bit cynical that New Year resolutions are synonymous with failure.  Every year people set resolutions and within weeks they have completely abandoned the idea of their resolutions.  Too often this leaves people worse off than before they began.

In spite of my reluctance however, I have felt challenged over the last few weeks to stop whining and actually set some "real" resolutions. Not the kind of resolutions that I resent everyday, but the kind that remind me to be purposeful in 2013.

I want to be more purposeful in my quiet time with God! In the last few months I have been challenged to spend at least 10 minutes a day completely alone with God. A scheduled time that cannot be rescheduled or interrupted and that I look forward to everyday. 

I want to be more purposeful in organizing my life! I am so weak in this area. I have moments of spontaneous organization and then find myself overwhelmed by the chaos of piles and unnecessary clutter. I have started organizing my home and will finish this year. Everything will have a place and a purpose! My inbox haunts me every time I open it and this year I am going to clear it out and keep it that way!

I want to be more purposeful in my own physical health. For so long I have felt like I was at the mercy of my disease and doctors. I know that I will never be completely in control of my body, but I am ready to be in control of my diet. "Diet" is like a four letter word to me. I have never gone on one and I think this is going to be the hardest resolution of all. This last year has provided me with the motivation to try and embrace the idea of maintaing my diet as a good thing. The purpose of my diet is to prevent as many complications with my health as possible. 

The most exciting part of making resolutions this year is the hope of learning to be more disciplined in these three areas of my life. I anticipate lots of frustration and moments of joy, but most of all, I look forward to a year full of purpose and as such I'm making some "real resolutions"!